Thursday, August 28, 2014

It's been a long time...

It's been a very long time since I wrote in this blog, but I've decided to come back and start writing in it again. I'm taking a couple of writing classes online through MCC, and one of the projects is to do a blog, so when I started that blog for school, this one also appeared so that's why I decide to write in this one also. I reread some of my old posts and I loved them, I could remember how I felt at the time while writing these posts. Writing has always made me feel better.

From my last post Dec 2011 until now, I could have swore that I had post from 2012, I don't see them on here though, maybe I deleted them, but I seriously do not see me doing that.

Dec. 15, 2012, my mom went to heaven. That was one of the hardest things in my life, losing my mom. The devastation can't even be put into words even now. To know and to see her suffering, it was unbearable, and at times when I see in my mind what she went through before passing still feels like a knife cutting into my heart. I know she is safe and suffers no more, I'm glad for this, but I long to hear her laughter again. I've seen her in my dreams and she's so beautiful and young again, no more false teeth, her smile is beautiful, her little lisp is back, those dentures ruined her voice and smile, but she's perfect now. I will see her again one day. My dad is lonely without his baby doll, it's so horribly sad to see him so lonely. Time has healed his depression, God has healed his mourning. And getting to know my dad has been delightful. We talk almost every night, like I use to with my mom. We laugh, we cry, we are getting to really know each other like never before. I love how he pronounces words like he did when I was a child. I wasn't ever real close to him until I made myself call him to check on him when my mother passed. And I was amazed that for the first time of my life, I really enjoy his company, even over the phone. I love when he says words like shore instead of sure, I forgot how he talked. And I love the stories he tell of his life as a child.

My son, who is now almost 15 is back being home schooled, which I hate, but I hate even more of his fear and panic of school and being made fun of because of his tourettes, (TS). The tics, facial and verbal are hard for me to watch, it breaks my heart, and it wears him out. They've gotten worse since he's going through puberty. He's playing my moms keyboard, it really seems to help him, and he is such a natural at it, he hears the music. I know my mom would be so proud of him.

Life is pretty much going well right now for my son and I, things have settled down finally, we moved into a mobile home park and I bought a mobile home. I do miss a real house though, so I don't think I'll be staying too much longer here, I've been here for almost a year and a half. But not in a rush, just taking my time and praying about it.

This link below is Bo, my son playing my parents song, I Just Called To Say I Love You

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