Wednesday, August 31, 2011

CROQUE MONSIEUR...I've always wanted to know how to make this!

This is in one of my favorite movies: IT'S COMPLICATED.... and yea I found the recipe finally! If anyone else is interested, here it is.


Croque Monsieur ("Crunch Mister") and Croque Madame ("Crunch Missis") traditional snacks in France.

Croque Monsieur is made of sandwich bread, ham and cheese.

Butter a slice of sandwich bread,
add a slice of ham then a slice of semi-soft cheese and finally cover with another slice of sandwich bread. Put in oven for 10 minutes and serve right away (the bread will toast and the cheese will melt).

For a croque-madame, just add an egg on the bread.

I'm going to try it this coming weekend.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Equality, The Way Of Life As A Christian

2 Corinthians 8:14-15

14 But by an equality, that now at this time your abundance may be a supply for their want, that their abundance also may be a supply for your want: that there may be equality:

15 As it is written, He that had gathered much had nothing over; and he that had gathered little had no lack.
(King James Version)

14 at this present time your abundance being a supply for their need, so that their abundance also may become a supply for your need, that there may be equality; 15 as it is written, “HE WHO gathered MUCH DID NOT HAVE TOO MUCH, AND HE WHO gathered LITTLE HAD NO LACK.”
(New American Standard Bible)

14 At the present time your plenty will supply what they need, so that in turn their plenty will supply what you need. The goal is equality, 15 as it is written: “The one who gathered much did not have too much, and the one who gathered little did not have too little.”
(Today's New International Version)

Equality, The Way Of Life As A Christian......
As far as I can see, there are a lot of wealthy preachers, and I know the bible says he can make a living from preaching the gospel...but are the wealthy ones or even the ones that are not just well off but in abundance, helping the ones that are truly lacking, if so awesome. But if not, well then that's so wrong and sad, there are so many hurting people out there today that it's mind boggling and painful to hear about and to see, right in our own backyards!

So I am going to start a charity called: [In Our Own Backyards Charity]

I realize there are many charities out there and I support them, but I'm starting one to help those in my own backyard, the ones I see in desperate need myself. The ones that aren't getting help from the other charities I support. I have to do for them, because I know first hand the struggles of life's pressures and feeling like there is no hope, no one there to help. From having no food to feed my children, having no way to pay my electric bill, gas and water bill, (and the programs that are there to help, did not help me) to wearing literal rags for clothing.

I thank God that I got to suffer like I did, although at the time it was painful, but now it makes me desperate to help others in the same situation I was in. When we needed food, the food banks didn't have much and what they did have, well most of it was rotten or close to rotting. I want to make the world we live in a better place, starting in our own backyards. No one and especially, single moms, children, the elderly, the ill, should have to suffer when we that have an abundance can help.

World English Dictionary
charity (ˈtʃærɪtɪ)

— n , pl -ties
1. a. the giving of help, money, food, etc, to those in need
b. ( as modifier ): a charity show
2. a. an institution or organization set up to provide help, money, etc, to those in need
b. ( as modifier ): charity funds
3. the help, money, etc, given to the needy; alms
4. a kindly and lenient attitude towards people
5. love of one's fellow men

Saturday, August 27, 2011

51 years old, thought by now I'd have it all figured out

It's been an overwhelming past few days, to the point that I really wanted to write, but would not allow myself to, because of what I knew I'd write, which would not have been good because of who it would affect. Sometimes I just have to hold my tongue, or my fingers in this case.

After much prayer and lots of thinking and meditating on all that's happened, I am feeling a lot better and less overwhelmed. But still I feel a little disturbed about a few things and with a few people in my life. Actually I'm sad about someone so dear to me that my heart breaks. Can't mention names though, not now anyway. And Karen, if you're reading this, it's not you I'm talking about, I couldn't be more proud of you than I am right now. You are awesome and I praise God for you!

I'm not trying to be mysterious or leaving anyone guessing or hanging or anything like that, I just have to write for my own sanity and at the same time I have to watch what I write about right now. Believe it or now, writing is really a big stress reliever it's so magical in the way it helps me to heal, that's why I do it. As I sigh, a huge relief just came over me, just to sit here and type away, even if this time it is really not doing anyone else any good, it is doing me some good.

I'm 51 years old, I would have thought by now I'd have it all figured out and that I'd be in a good place in my life. But I don't have it all figured out and I struggle a lot, in a lot of different areas in my life. It's wearing me down, I'm tired, but I will rest, then get up and charge full force ahead and try to make a dent in this life. I have no choice if I want to raise a good, healthy little boy, who deserves the best, but right now he is getting ripped off more than he should be. I pray his dad will straighten up and be the dad this son of ours needs, or that God will bring him a great step-dad. Although I really do not want to be married again, not right now. Playing or doing wifey again just wears me out to think about it! But maybe God will change my mind and my heart and give me the desire to do it yet again. Hopefully this time it wont end in abuse or divorce, don't think I could go through all that again, not even for a split second.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Life...getting a little easier

It's funny how things can be going bad for so long that when more things keep going wrong you can almost get use to it. But thank God that's not happening in our case now, things are finally getting better for us, for the most part anyway. Karen, my daughter, loves her job, and her first pay check blew us away, we sure weren't expecting it to be as much as it was. That was a great blessing. She works the graveyard shift so that's kind of hard on her, especially because she doesn't get to see her kids very much. They are staying in Mesa, with their dad and going to school there, but we get them on the weekends. Well except for her two year old, I watch him most of the time but his dad takes him over night a couple times a week.

We love living in Gilbert, but we think going back to Mesa, might be the best thing for everyone, she'll get to be with her older three kids a lot more. It's bitter sweet for me, I love Gilbert and I really don't like most of Mesa, anymore. Plus the area where we would have to live, in order to be by her kids doesn't have a lot of places available right now. What to do, what to do....

I'm doing online school for my son, Bo, who is almost twelve now and in sixth grade, so that wouldn't be a problem if we moved. I love this k-12 Arizona Virtual Academy, so does Bo. I like him being schooled at home, he begged for me to do it and I wasn't sure I really wanted to at first, but it's going well. I home schooled a few years back but it wasn't going as smooth as it is this time.

Now that we all have our own money coming in and no one has to support the other, life is so much easier on all of us. Now if I can make the kind of money I use to make, life will even be a little sweeter. But for this moment I'm just thankful to make the bills.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

life today is good

It's been a good week, my daughter, Karen, has all four of her kids here, and I haven't seen them in four days, that's a very long time when I'm use to them being here 24/7. I got to watch, my son, Keith's daughter yesterday and to see his other daughter, which was a nice treat. Then my other son, Keny, came over and brought his three kids today, a true treat as well. Then of course I have my 11 year old here all the time, no break with that, which I'm fine with. I just would like his dad to step up and do his part in raising him, but I sure can't see that happening anytime soon, if ever. Bo, my young son, is also thrilled that all my grand kids, his nieces and nephews are here, he misses them so much when they're gone. They are more like his siblings, since his siblings are all adults.
Finances are still pretty tight, but soon we will be better than we have been in awhile, thank God! Life might be rough at times but family sure helps brighten my day. I thank God for my family and my friends, you guys are all blessings.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Just Breathe!

Finally, I can just breathe! Things are turning around, like I knew they would eventually, for the better. So now I can sit back for a second, and calm down and just breathe. Finally!

I mean, not everything is as I want, or to the point that we don't need to be concerned, but a breather has moved in, even if for a couple of days. I needed this break, we all did and finally it is here. I couldn't take another moment of the concerns that were upon me. The stress was starting to really get to me in all ways, especially physically.

I know that we are ok, and we are, we are going to be even better off in about 4 or 5 days, better as in finances, thank God! Being poverty stricken, especially when you came from a decent amount of money, really was hard, is hard, but wow, we are really seeing now that everything is going to work out, it is working out!!

I don't know what else to say other than, thank you all who have prayed for us and for our situation and thank you all that have helped us in our time of need. With prayer, food, gas for the car, money for our bills, and especially for those that gave from their own state of poverty. You will be paid back, all of you! Whether you want paid back or not. And I will always always help others out even if it means I give from what I really don't have like you have done. And you know who I'm talking about, and I love you!!!

Monday, August 15, 2011

Just For A Season

It's funny, when I started this blog and decided to write what I did write, about it being a journey and it's not always fair and not always good but not always bad. I had gone through enough in life to know this.
Today it seems it is more bad for us than good. But it doesn't really matter because it's just for a season, I know this deep inside of me. I will certainly be glad when this season, of what feels like a never ending one, does finally end, and hopefully nothing drastic or more horrific happens to us during this season.
But for today I will endure and I will never give up or throw in the towel. I am not a quitter, I never have been. In fact I am a survivor and always will be. A God given strength, because I know it couldn't have come from anyone else.

It's one o'clock in the morning and I can't sleep, not from anxiety, like I used to get, I took a long nap today and it messed my schedule up. That's why I've decided to get up and write, instead of lying there trying to fall asleep. If writing doesn't help then I'm going to get a book and start reading, that usually does wonders for helping me to fall asleep.

Also just want to say thanks to anyone who has prayed for us during this season, we did get our electric back on, actually it didn't stay off too long. It never got hotter than 82 degrees which really shocked me. I know some people who keep theirs set at that or higher. Our food stayed cold and everything worked out great. So thanks for praying. And thank you my God, my savior and Lord for blessing us and taking care of us and teaching us, through all we're going through, in the name of Jesus.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

In Need Of Prayer!

Today I am trying not to freak out, trying to stay calm and focused on God, He knows what's going on and He will help us through this battle. I say this and know it but I still feel a little shaken inside.

We have no electric, we have no phone, the battery on this computer will die shortly, the food in the fridge and freezer may go bad now, it's hot in side the house now and humid, hard to breathe, outside is even worse.

I think I could better handle it if I didn't feel like a loser in front of the kids, my son and my daughter's kids. But my grand kids will be leaving shortly for the night, their dad will pick them up and take them with him since my daughter has to go to work tonight. Praise God she does! And in exactly one week from today she gets her first pay check, we couldn't be happier, just wish it were sooner though.

Anyone who prays, I ask you to please pray for us, we need it! And thank you, prayer is more important to me than ever!

I pray that no one has to go through what we are going through and I hope that those that are suffering will be able to get the help they so desperately need, sooner than later. I will continue praying for those that are suffering, my heart goes out to you!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

I'll Take It!

What ever it is that I'm suppose to be learning through this life experience that I'm going through today, well then, I'll take it and I'll try not to complain.
I think that what ever it is then there is a reason behind it. Maybe God wants to make me stronger, maybe He is disciplining me, what ever it is I'll take it and I will try to learn by it and to try to always remember this lesson so that maybe I'll be able to help someone else out when they're going through something like this. Being an encouragement to others is always a good thing.

Later today.... I do believe God was showing me something, and I really am stronger as a person, as a Christian, because of it. So thank You my Lord, and for seeing me through.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

This Morning

This morning I woke to no electric, it scared me at first, mainly because it's so hot and humid in Arizona right now. But in the midst of my fear, my oldest grand daughter said to me not to worry, we're going to be ok. She said she can feel that things are going to get better, and soon. I smiled and looked at her and I told her, she's right, there is no need to fear, God always takes care of us and has never let us down and never will. I knew if this child could be strong then I have to be strong too, for everyone's sake in this family. I knew also I could not profess to believe in God and doubt Him, at the same time.
So I am content at the moment, we will be fine, I know it's true and I know we're at the homestretch with our situation, I can feel it!
Me, my ex-husband, our son, my daughter and her four children and my other son and his two children are all in this home, together, all eleven of us trying to make it work, and it will work. My ex finally got word that he's got work again starting tomorrow, my daughter has started and gets her first check on the twenty first of this month, I write and get money every Friday, my oldest son has a job to go back to in Flagstaff, he's down here for a visit to see his girls. We are going to be fine. And even tho it may seem a little threatening right now, our future is becoming brighter, praise God!

Sunday, August 7, 2011

True Forgiveness

I've heard it my whole life, forgive any one and everyone who's hurt you. Forgive for your own sake even if not for their sake, I've been told.
Today is the first time I can actually say I felt something that I've never felt before in forgiving someone.
I alway do forgive and I know that the bible says if we want God to forgive our sins we must forgive others that sin against us.
But it was really different for me today, I was thinking to myself and about this certain person and the hurt that this person did to me and I was sad over it, but I then I smiled and said to myself that I forgive them. And I do forgive them, but this time I felt a physical feeling of true love and kindness for this person, a true forgiveness. I really do, not just because I'm suppose to or because the bible says to. It was different, I don't want this person to ever suffer, I don't want this person to think that they even need to come to me and apologize because they don't need to. I truly want the best for them and for them to know that I love them and I have no hard feelings. I wish I could write what I felt but it's too big, I'm doing the best I can but it's not even close to what I felt, what I feel.

Saturday, August 6, 2011


Well that didn't last long! I put adsense ad's on my blog...people go to my blog and if they want they click on the advertisement and I get paid. But the adsense company shut me down for invalid clicks...meaning someone clicked over and over just to try to help me get paid for advertisements. I appealed but still lost, so I guess I'll stick with Amazon. When someone goes to amazon from my blog and if they decide to buy something from them I get 15% commission. I guess if they were going to buy from Amazon anyway then it's a good thing, I don't know I guess I see how it turns out.
Thanks to all of you for visiting my blog and thanks for helping me out with the click...too bad it was shut down though, who knew? No biggie. But if you're going to buy from amazon I'd love it if you clicked on the amazon ads from my blog, it'll help me out.
Many thanks!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011


Stressed and overwhelmed from the present situation at hand was causing me to just want to cover up and hide in my bed. But knowing this can't help the situation but only make it worse, I chose to get up, get the laptop out and start writing away. Knowing it brings in money, just not enough to cover all that we need to live, it does help some, so I have to do it.

I took a break after hours of writing and went to get a bite to eat. My, almost two year old, grandson was being goofy and making faces and dancing. It caused me to smile, then I started dancing with him and I made funny faces with him. He and I started laughing and playing. The more we danced around the more we laughed.

For a few minutes or so I forgot my problems, I felt no stress, just joy. And then I remembered from before, when I was feeling stressed, I'd smile. Smiling really does help the body feel better. Even though it might not bring in money for the bills, it releases something that is worth more than money, good health, physically and mentally.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

A Blessing In Disguise

The past week being out of internet service was probably a blessing in disguise for me, I got more writing done in the book that I'm writing than I possibly could have while writing for the online company that I write for. In fact I got so much done that my book is just about ready to wrap up and send to a publisher. I just hope someone publishes it now. I think it's a great read, and not just because I wrote it either.

I think everyone has a story to tell and could write a book probably. Plus it's like therapy, writing can help you in many different ways. It clears my head, and it helps me to see where I'm going and where I came from.

But I'm thankful that it's back on now because I needed to get back to work writing articles for the online company I write for to make money. Plus I missed my facebook and other things that I use the internet for. Technology, gotta love it!

Monday, August 1, 2011

Three White Doves

When you think things are bad you just know it can't get any worse, well you know it can, but you don't think it's really going to, or at least you hope not.

Well that's how I was feeling Saturday night, then when I woke up Sunday morning I was hit with really bad news. I felt like I just got punched in the stomach, I felt shocked. I made coffee for my daughter and I, while everyone was sleeping. Then sitting at the bar in the kitchen sipping my coffee, I started crying uncontrolably. My daughter came out of her room and peaked around the corner at me, she heard me crying.

She asked almost in a scared voice what was wrong, later she said she thought maybe someone had died and that I had just gotten the news. Well no one died, thank God. That would have been worse news than what I had received so I do know things can always get worse.

I went into my bedroom and thanked God that the news wasn't worse than it was. Then I prayed to God the Father, Jesus my Lord, my Savior and also to the Holy Spirit. I was desperate, and I know God does answer prayers. I am a Christian but I know I am not always walking like I probably should be as a Christian. I wish I could be as good as someone like Billy Graham, or someone that faithful, but I'm not even close to that.

Then I went out back to get in the pool with my daughter, I saw a white, a shiny pure white dove, I told my daughter to look up, that there's a white dove, she looked up and two more were there, we were amazed, it seems rare to see even one and here there are three. I felt so much peace come over me that I really just knew that God sent three doves to show He hears my cry, my prayers, and that we are going to be ok. I know anyone can say it's just a coincedence, maybe it is but maybe it's not. I mean who really knows and who really knows how God does things, putting Him in a box and saying God doesn't do this or that or he only does this or that is foolish I think, I mean He's God, He can do anything and we are just mere human beings.