Saturday, April 10, 2010

Teen Pregnancy

22.
Everyone's talking about teen pregnancy...again, like it's a new thing, maybe it is increasing... or not. But I know it's been happening for many many years. I do believe in getting married first then getting pregnant, but I also know that as a teen you don't always do what you were taught, no matter how religous your family is.

My mom got pregnant before she was married, I believe her mom did too. I got pregnant in high school, at the age of 17 and married at 17. My daughter got pregnant at the age of 18 then married at 18 and I honestly can't say I was thrilled, I was scared for her. Especially because of who she was pregnant by. But her daughter is one of the biggest blessings of our lives! As are her other three children and all five of my children. HUGE blessings! We truely have some awesome children, and I do praise God for them all!

My mom is married to the same man even today. I am divorced and my daughter is divorced. I think the younger generation, compared to my mom's generation, reconize abuse and get out instead of taking it and just excepting it. I did re-marry and after nine years and into this second marriage I had my tubes untied and had a baby boy. When he turned 3 I left his dad because of abuse.

I think that as a teen we know better, I did and my mom did and my daughter did..know better. But we chose to have sex, we got pregnant, we all kept our babies and made the best of a situation that wasn't so great. Not that the babies weren't great, they are, but the men made our lives hell on this earth, they ruined what could have been a great thing. Everyone of these men were abusive. And not just to us but to our babies!

My life did not turn out like I thought it would, but today, I am happier than I ever have been. It's nothing like I fantasized about, but it's ok. And there is great things ahead I believe.

My biggest heartache is for my son today, his dad lives a few miles down the road and rarely see's his son, my son desires a relationship with his daddy, but daddy is just not there. And his father does not pay his child support like he's suppose to which really sucks for us, but we're doing good in spite of his (my ex's) lack of support, because I work my butt off to provide him every thing he needs and even most of his desires.

As for teen pregnancy....well if you're going to fornicate, like I did then use protection if you aren't wanting a child. It's that simple. AND I REPEAT, IT'S THAT SIMPLE! It's a lot more easier to get these days. But for the record I still believe in abstinence, although I didn't do that as a teen, I do that now, even though I'm not able to get pregnant now, I do practice abstinence...there are other reasons why, like God, and like STD's.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Turing 50!

21.
Today I turn 50...I guess it's finally sinking in because I usually want to scream 50..YIKES!!! But now I am processing it, I'm not sure why that number seems so life changing to me, but it does.

When I think back through my life and all that's happened to me or the things I've done, good and bad, I realize, I have a new day, a new year, a new start, and I'm excited, really excited.

It's taken me some time to get over the past few years, my very nasty divorce, losing my home to foreclosure a direct result of my divorce, going through an emergency hysterectomy and almost dying, watching my daughter go through an even nastier divorce and losing her children and every thing she owned, because she is not Mormon and her husband was and she couldn't afford a lawyer, but her husband's lawyer and the judge were all Mormons and she and her children were basically thrown under the bus. But today I am emotionally strong, mentally strong, and I'm getting better, wiser, and I'm making the right choices for me, for my life, my health, for every aspect of my being!

And I must say, God is faithful...He gave my daughter her children back, and has restored so much back to me and to my daughter, just because He loves us...He loves us all...and that's what tomorrow is all about. Tomorrow is Easter, three days after Jesus was crucified he rose from the dead, He is resurrected...He is alive and Satan is defeated. That is Easter and to me that is exciting!

Friday, April 2, 2010

True Medicine...Laughter

20.
I use to be so afraid to be or to allow myself to feel happy because I just knew the second I smiled or laughed that something was going to happen to ruin that moment of happiness. But not any more, I know that just because I feel happy or if I laugh, there is no jinx, that that stolen moment of joy isn't going to just immediately stop because I go with the feeling and enjoy it.

Through out my day no matter how hard the day can be, my daughter and I usually have laughter and it gets us through some rough moments. Laughter is truly medicine to our bodies, to our minds. It feels so good to be happy and to be able to laugh.

It's so awesome to be able to change your own mood at any point you want to in your day. If there's something that really sucks and brings you down, you don't have to stay down. You can simply tell yourself to smile...to know that this moment will not ruin your day, what ever the situation, and that you can handle this moment, of sadness or irritation or what ever it is and you can turn your mood around. It takes practice, on an every day, many times a day basis, but it is so so worth it! Try it, you have nothing to lose, but a whole world of joy to gain!